i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
