In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
