i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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