I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
