JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
