Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
