I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize