I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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