he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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