So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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