You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
