I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
