I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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