i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
