Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
