I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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