This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
