You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
