The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize