My first STD was from a foam party
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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