Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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