this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
