do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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