So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
