Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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