Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
