Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
