Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
someone owes me an orgasm
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
