I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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