she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize
