I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
