Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
