conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I party with great urgency now.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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