You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
