Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
