i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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