I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
