it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
