i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
