I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
