She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He shit in the fireplace
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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