I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
