I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
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EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
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So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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