great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
that's an acceptable place to lick
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize