Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Where is the hickey?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
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That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
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I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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