My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
