Screwed.edu
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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