why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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