i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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