CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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