i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
