I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
