I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
