____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
