Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?