there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.