Me. At least after what I've been through.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room