consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
