what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
