I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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