Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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