So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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