Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
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