i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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